Monday, July 31, 2006

Bugs and false teeth

My office is swarming with aphid looking bugs. but bigger. i think i can see their fangs and compund eyes staring at me..

anywho...last night i was witness to a fight just outside the Earl's closest to my house.

these two guys dressed in sideways hats and basketball jerseys driving around in a work truck were just looking for trouble.

this is how it all started...

my 5 friends and i were enjoying a nice dinner at earls, each trying each others food item and selection of alcohol. then when one of my friends spotted a friend he hasnt seen in a while and started calling his name (more like hey F***head! over here).

In comes... i'm goign to use the term white surburban kids trying to be gangsta's or WKTG for short.

"what the F*** did you say to me" -WKTG
"nothing i'm trying to get a hold of my friend...hey F***head" -friend
"i'm gonna knock out all you white kids teeth"
*this is when in started laughing because they themselves are white, and had a lack of teeth*
-also it did not help out the situation-
*sits down in a chair next to us*
"next time you say something like that your going to pay" -WKTG
"dont start sh*t with me muthaf**ka, you dont know whats going to go down"-Friend

*again i laughed because my friend is also of the WKTG type....again did not help out the situation*

profanities were shared and the WKTG left to hang out in the parking lot to wait for us. deciding i wasnt in the mood for a fight...well at least not on an empty stomach i convinced the larger kids of my group to calm down.

half way through our meal we look up to see the WKTG getting their asses handed to them by two bigger(lets call them preppy) kids. like had to walk through doors sideways big.

anywho to make this already long story short the two preppy guys grabbed both of them by their collars and pummeled their face until both of the WKTG fell limp.

hilarity was ensured and while they were licking their wounds in the parking lots complaining it wasnt a fair fight thats when my group of six walked out to the parking lot to meet them for our "ass kicking"

so then it was six of us and two of them who were badly bruised and cut.

more prodfanities were exchanged and the WKTG left in their broken down work truck.

oh the sweet taste of almost victory.

then i chipped my tooth on a chop stick.

-matty "no tooth" k

Thursday, July 27, 2006

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

That is by far the best line i have ever heard....that and the line where some guy said that a guy with no arms could do a betetr robot than ashley simpson. oh hilarity was ensured.

I have alot of lactic acid buildup in my leg, i can tell becuase my legs are burning from walking from my car to my office. Maybe when darren and neal were telling me i'm fat they werent lying.

well according to the bio mass index i am overweight.

i am re reading the lord of the rings and i am currently on book four. And i think that gollum (smeagol)is a dick. such a dick. all he wants is that supid ring.

and remember kids, not all elves are tree hugging hippies and not all dwarves are alcoholics. Just most of them.

-Matty "The guy who got a 30% on the geek test" K

Monday, July 24, 2006


i am officially the worst typer in the history of people typing things. ok well i wouldnt go that far but i am one of those index finger typers. you know they can only use there index fingers for every key?

but the weird thing is, im actually kinda fast at typing with just two fingers. faster then some of those " home row" show offs.

The pilots around my work always complain. they want to fly all day but no one wants to flylate. there are 14 people trying to get into a space thats only meant for 6 and are dumbfounded when it doesnt work. and by pilots i mean the students not the instructors. the instructors are cool. one of them just answered the phone for me.

The Day one of the students doesnt complain about the schedule is that day that i can bark like a chicken.

hey it could happen.....

-matty k

Thursday, July 13, 2006


a handshake says alot about a person. i think a first impression is dependant on the handshake.

if you want hair that looks like a silky poofball sitting on top of my head, use conditioner.

recently have i learned that boxer briefs are they way to go, tight, but not to tight. i think santa clause wears boxer briefs.

playing guitar makes calouses, if you want perfect hands...dont play guitar.

if you stare at a wall long enough you can find shapes in those little bumps. its kinda like looking at constellations.

the humidex and temperature are not the same. they are very related but not the same

Monday, July 10, 2006

synopsis of my life

How long do i have to stare at this wall to know that i feel nothing. well at least not right now, nothing seems to affect me. i guess you can only take so much before you become numb to certain things. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i dont care.

no not anymore.

well at least not right now.

things seem to stack on my shoulders, but before where i would cringe from the weight, i sit here staring. i just dont care.

no not anymore

well at least not right now.

my eyes seem to glaze over when trivial problems arise, i just dont care.

no not anymore

well at least not now. least not now.

-matty k